Quit your belly-achin'

I'm doing a Bible study by James MacDonald called "Lord, Change my Attitude".

It's a 10 week study. One week we learn about a bad attitude we're all guilty of; then the next week we learn to replace that bad attitude with a good one.

This week we're focusing on complaining.

The definition we're using for complaining is "to express dissatisfaction with a circumstance which is not wrong and about which I'm not doing anything to correct."

Breaking that down...

If I'm talking about the weather and how it's always so cold on the days I have recess duty, then I'm complaining. There's nothing wrong with cold weather. I may not like it, but it's not wrong when it's cold in February.

If I feel like Jason should be doing more around the house but I just gripe about him behind his back instead of going to him, then I'm complaining. I'm not doing anything to correct it if all I do is talk about him to my friends.

James made the point that praying about an issue does qualify as "doing something about it". So if you talk to God about the way you feel, even if it's a long discussion about how unfair you think things are, that is NOT complaining. That's an honest prayer.

The passage in the Bible that we studied was when the Israelites were wandering in the desert and ALL they did was grumble and complain. God parted the Red Sea and protected and guided them (hello, miraculous!)... but they got thirsty (waahhh) and grumbled against Moses and God. So God gave them water-- FROM A ROCK no less-- (another miracle)... but then they complained they were hungry. So He rained manna from heaven... but then they complained that they had no meat. On and on it went. And we read how many times the Bible said that God's anger burned because of their complaints.

James made the point that God hates complaining... especially when we complain about our lot in life. He hates when we forget how kind He's been to us in the past. It hurts Him when our hearts are hard and we treat Him like He's forgotten us. He is always working through our cirumstances.

James also said that so often we complain about things in our lives that are results of choices WE made. We chose the person we married. We chose to have kids. We chose to work at the job where we work. Stop complaining about it!

I'm so guilty of this!!! I don't want to lose my sarcastic sense of humor, but I have been trying to more aware of my complaining spirit.

On Tuesday, I was REALLY deliberate and aware of my grumbling.

I put on my school Tshirt that I have to wear EVERY SINGLE TUESDAY and thought to myself, "I hate this stupid thing. It looks so ugly. I get so sick of wearing the same thing every week."

Then God hit me with "Is it wrong that you have to wear a Tshirt to work, or are you complaining?"

I immediately CHOSE to change my attitude and said, "Thank you, God, that I don't have to think about what I'm gonna wear today. I realize that the reason I don't like it is that it's not cute. Sorry for being vain."

Then I got in the car and drove to work. I was running late and I got behind EVERY SLOW PERSON in North Texas. I swear I did. And I was getting frustrated and grumbling to myself again.

But I stopped and said, "I realize that I should've left early. I'm pressed for time because I took too long getting ready this morning. It's my fault. Please help me get to work on time, God."

And I was on time, miraculously.

As cheesy as it might sound, it made a huge difference to reject an attitude of "woe is me!" and take on an attitude of thankfulness and acknowledgment that I'm not a victim. Sometimes my bad situations are from bad choices I made.

I was running late, not because of the traffic, but because I sat to watch the news that morning. I didn't have time to sit. Bad choice. How can I curse the fact that the roads weren't clear enough for me to go 80 mph?

I make $614 a month because I chose to sign a contract with a school that can only afford to pay me $614 a month. My choice. If I hate it, I can find a new job.

I work with kids that can't read or write and need help wiping their bottoms because I chose to work at a preschool. That goes with the territory. Sometimes it's not fun. But what did I expect when the kids I work with are 4 yrs old? And who says that every moment of work is supposed to be fun?

I'm praying that I continue to be more aware when I want to grumble and complain. My life is really good. I've been VERY blessed.

I have a job. I have an amazing family. We're healthy. We're all at least reasonably smart. ;)

He definitely sees me and hears my prayers. It's mind-blowing.

I'm making an effort to choose to focus on the blessings rather than treat God like His kindness to me isn't enough. I don't want to be a bratty kid that wants more. I want to be satisfied and incredibly grateful with what He's already done.

I think that's an attitude He chooses to bless.

studying the book of James

Sarah asked me, "Mom, why don't you read your Bible while I'm eating breakfast anymore?"

That's one of the most convicting questions I've been asked in a while.

For about a year, I would spend my time in prayer before the kids woke up and would be reading my Bible by the time they came downstairs and started eating.

But that was back when I was in an organized weekly Bible study. We were all studying the same thing and would come back each Monday to talk about what we had learned. Left to my own devices, I'm not disciplined enough to read my Bible every day.

Last year I skipped one of the Bible studies I usually do. They were studying the book of James. I bought the workbook. I can access the videos online. And I'm resolved to go through that study this semester.

If I can carve out time every day to run... and watch TV... and work towards being ESL certified... and take an Abnormal Psych class, then I have time in my day for this. Some things may need to be switched around or eliminated all together, but I have enough time.

I feel like I'm poring over things that don't ultimately matter. I'm saying "yes" to everything and am left drained and stressed. I'm always restored and renewed when I spend time alone reading my Bible, and I've gotten away from that this last year. I'm feeding and challenging my mind with school and my body through diet and exercise. I know I can't continue to neglect my spirit.

Also I find it really sad that I have so much random stuff committed to memory and not enough Scripture. I'd be better off having Bible verses take up space in my brain rather than the license plate to the station wagon. ;)