we made it til 2015!!

Then there was Caroline...

par-tay!!

Excited about the new year.  

 I'm on the couch too, but at least I have a drink in hand.

Happy New Year!!

Watching Garfield and Friends.

It's 9:25.

Taking bets on who will still be up at midnight. 

Crucial Conversations

I have had this book for several months but was unable to get past the first chapter because I had textbooks to read.

This week I read the book.  I marked in it.  I underlined, wrote notes in the margin.  This is why I prefer to read works of fiction on my Nook and have an actual copy of the book if it's nonfiction.  I love to mark up books.

It's a really great read.  It is right up my alley because it involves introspection.  How are you when it comes to having difficult conversations?  Are you able to give honest feedback?  Are you able to receive it?  Then the book gives tips and teaches skills for you to improve your dialogue.

I read it because I have to have hard conversations in my current job, and I know I'll have many more tough situations once I'm a guidance counselor.

I've had a few crucial conversations at work this year.  I learned from each of them. 

One did not go well at all, and the parent threatened to contact an attorney.  She didn't. She was mad.  I wasn't wrong in what I said, but I should've handled it differently.  It didn't need to escalate to that point.  One big mistake?  I tried to handle an issue over email.  I thought it would be good to have my concerns in writing, but it wasn't well-received by the parent.  Tone is so hard to read over email.

The other went very well.  I dismissed a student from our program.  I had the conversation in person with both parents.  They heard my concerns but-- more importantly-- they heard my heart.  They knew that I really wanted what was best for their daughter.  Not only did they end up agreeing that their daughter was not ready for the program, but they want to enroll next year and try again.  I didn't lose them as "customers"-- for lack of a better word.

I learned that crucial conversations are best handled in person.

I also think that I've been given challenges in my job for a reason.  I have some difficult personalities at my workplace.  I like everyone I work with, but I've learned a lot about myself from interacting with them.  I know the kinds of people who make me nervous and afraid to speak up.  I'm learning to work on speaking the truth in love.  There's a way to frame up a conversation that is honest and necessary but not threatening or demeaning to the other person.

That's essentially what the entire book is about.

Interestingly, I find it to coincide with my spirituality.  The Bible is full of scripture that teaches taming your tongue and self-control.  "Crucial Conversations" talks about sensing when a conversation has become sensitive and then implementing the skills to keep a productive dialogue going.  To me, that's God-given discernment, and in those moments, I pray in my head, "Lord, give me the words to say."

The book also talks about how we all have a story.  A past that influences the way we perceive situations. If you had a critical mother who always had sarcastic digs, then twenty years later, you may have a boss that reminds you of her.  And you may judge things she says and does with that grid of experiences from your past.  The book says that you need to recognize what your story is and how it affects your perceptions today.

Not only does that overlap with so many of my counseling textbooks I've read for the last 2 years, it's also very much a part of the 12 Step process that people use in programs like Alcoholics Anonymous. And of course the 12 Steps are Biblically based.

I love when truths reappear across varying sources.  It makes me smile.  It makes me want to write the authors of this book and say, "Did you know you referenced Scripture?"  But, since they actually quoted a verse in Proverbs at the beginning of Chapter 5, I have a feeling they know.

It's a good read.  It wasn't necessarily a quick read for me because I tend to be very introspective.  I have to underline as I said.  Then I stop to think about ways I can apply what I've read to my interactions at work.  I absorb.  I sleep on it.  I go back the next day and read some more.

But I would definitely recommend this book.  And then maybe the book of Proverbs... or Ephesians... maybe Galatians... heck, you could read the whole Bible... because there's definitely some overlap. ;)

The new Annie

Caroline said, "If I dye my hair darker brown and make it curly, I would look just like the new Annie."

Yep.
Like twins.

Sweet Reese

Had a big day at the farm.

Just make yourself comfortable.

Jingle Bell Rock

A kick line and some dancing along with Gran...

And the dancing Santa on her table.

Kitchen -- CHECK

I cleaned out my cabinets and cleaned off the counters.

This is the damage.

Wow.

I struggled a couple of times. I felt horrible as I was throwing out boxes of gluten-free brownie mix, safflower oil, chia seeds.... I've been on some health kicks that I was never going to commit to. (Me? Gluten free? Ha!) I was embarrassed by the lack of commitment and the waste of money these things represented.

I wanted to repurpose a few things. I thought about selling the toaster oven.

But I pushed through. Things are organized in the kitchen and my bar area. And it feels great!!

Of course, the voice in my head says, "You've tried to be more organized before, Julie, and you always fall back into the same old habits."

But I'm really gonna try this time.  And if I backslide a little, I'm gonna try to not let that defeat me.

I want to change.

My main resolution

Looking ahead to the New Year, I'm thinking about resolutions.  Resolving to be a better person.  The one thing that drives me the craziest about myself is the clutter I allow in my home.

I'm a mess.  And it bothers me. 

I'm going to let you see a glimpse into my real life...  WARNING:  You may break out into hives, especially if you can't stand clutter.

I have always been a mess.  Ask my parents whose room was a disaster growing up... 3 kids... mine was the only train wreck.  But I'm a people pleaser, rule follower.  I was not (and am not now) a mess to be defiant or rebellious.  I'm overwhelmed and don't know what to do.

Years ago my mom asked me, "Do you not know how to clean?"  Anything that implies that I may not be smart enough to do something makes me bristle.  She quickly followed that with, "I'm not being mean.  I'm being serious. I may not have ever taught you how to keep things organized."

So flash forward... and I sit here and really think about why I'm a mess... here's what I've come up with.  It may not make any sense to you if you're a neat freak.

1. I think too much.
Herein lies the root of the problem. 

As a preteen/teen, I was thinking about school, my weight, perceived problems at home. I had no desire to think about where to put my laundry or my things. I was solving the world's problems in my head. I was exhausted.

Plus my hormones were out of control (as are all teens) and so I would get in sad moods and sit in my messy room with the door shut.  It almost felt good to wallow in the chaos of my clutter.

Are you following along?  Is this making any sense?  Probably not.

Now I think about "Could we reuse this in some way?"  "Will Jason be upset if I throw this out?"  "Am I wasting money to let this go?" "Should I donate or try to sell on Craigslist?" "Will the kids be sad to find this missing?"  "Am I being ridiculous?  They're only kids for so long.  What's the big deal if Halloween candy is out til June and backpacks are open all over the kitchen floor? Relax and enjoy having kids."

It slows me down when I'm cleaning because I'm thinking.  And after I throw things out, I mentally replay everything that I just discarded and question myself.

After reading this nonsense, is it shocking to you I take anti-anxiety medication? ;)  My brain never shuts off. And it is irrational. And it is not productive. 

You can never tell what's floating around in someone's head, but sometimes you can see it in other ways.  For some, it's their weight that gets out of control.  For others, it's the drinking.  For me, it's the clutter.  You want to know how chaotic my head is?  Look at my house.


2. I mentally compartmentalize my life.
I can only handle so much. 

I walk around with blinders on when it comes to the clutter in my life.  It's the way I stay sane when other parts of my life are crazy. 


3.  I don't know where to start.
I think the answer is "start somewhere".

Every room needs an overhaul.  And going back to what my mom asked years ago, the answer is, "No, I'm really not sure what to do."   Especially now with four other people who leave their junk lying around. 

I don't want to be angry with anyone so I ignore it.  Until people come over and then I'm embarrassed by the mess.


4.  I have little help.
Jason helps with some things.  The kids help when I nag them.  Someday I'll have a housekeeper to come in twice a month, but I'm not there yet.

And then-- to add insult to injury--- somehow we have become the home of hand-me-downs.  I love the money-saving factor.  I love that we get furniture or clothes or toys that other people don't need anymore.  But for someone who can't stay on top of the mess, it can be maddening.


SO...

Here's what I'm going to try...

Starting today I'm going to ruthlessly throw things out.  

Then I'm going to see if I can get in the habit of following this plan with a few tweaks...

I think the visual will help me.  It's embarrassing that I need a visual reminder but I do.

I need to enlist my kids' help!! We can learn together how to keep the house in order.  If I have to be a grouch and nag, then that's what has to happen.  I want to be better, and we all need to be on board.

I'm going to get this under control in 2015.  If you have any tips to stay on top of the mess, please let me know!  :)

I'll keep you posted on how it goes.  It's my own form of weight loss for the New Year.  Not getting rid of junk food... but getting rid of junk.

Christmas Day 2014

I didn't take one single picture yesterday.   Not one.

But I did a whole lot of living in the moment.

The kids loved their gifts... Barbie dream house,  a keyboard,  a guitar, Skylander Trap Team for the Wii,  and on and on and on.

My homemade cinnamon rolls have never turned out so well, which was a relief.

We stayed in jammies all day. I made shredded chicken burritos for dinner.

A very relaxing day.

Then... after dinner.... I put Christmas away.  :)

It was a fantastic week of celebration,  but I'm always eager to put it all away.

Pics from Fishero Christmas

A fun time! Complete with karaoke.

If you need me to do a rendition of New Kids' "Hangin Tough", I'm there for ya. :)

finished!

I think Christmas Day is a perfect day to finish the holiday puzzle.

North Pole Express

We went to Grapevine to ride on the North Pole Express.  It was our first time and we had a lot of fun! 

 

 

 

The conductor was very friendly... and ridiculously tall.  You can't appreciate it here, but I'm telling ya, he was a giant!

 

 

The expression on the lady's face behind me kills me.. :)  She's beaming with holiday cheer. 

 

  

Mrs. Claus gave the kids their "We Believe in Santa" bells...

 

  

And we took a commemorative photo with the Big Guy himself...

 

 

But the highlight of the trip was stopping by Krispy Kreme and getting glazed donuts hot off the line!

 

 

We took a few home too! :) 

I don't know why the Krispy Kreme left Frisco.  We would've single handedly kept that place in business!

 

To the office with Dad

Jason started taking Sarah to the office when she was 4 years old.

His building is pretty dead this week so it isn't a problem to have kids in his office.

When Jack turned 4, he started going. Then Caroline. 

They love it. Jason has a typewriter for some reason. He has a desktop computer they can use while he works on the laptop. They usually call me at least once from his work phone.  They go into the Galleria for lunch and see the giant Christmas tree and watch the ice skaters.

This is a day they look forward to all year.  A Christmas tradition.

Related to my previous post....

I found this blog...

I've been reading ideas for Sarah.  I think this is more something for her when she gets older and wants to play with her curly hair.  BUT it has great ideas for products.


And this is how it relates to my previous post.

Somewhere someone has tried (and failed) to do the same things I'm trying to do.

Fix curly hair.  Find the perfect shade of red lipstick for the holidays.  (Can I even wear red?)  Get the perfect pair of running shoes for girls with uneven hips, a lazy streak, and an affinity for hot pink laces.

Then that someone somewhere found the solution.  And they're blogging about it.

And I can usually tell the posts that are sincere from the posts that are written simply for a sponsor.  I appreciate the blogger who will honestly review a product and tell you the downsides.

What's my advice?  What discovery have I made??

STOP trying to solve your own problems.  Google and find the blogger who has already solved all of your problems for you.

Take a little less initiative and show a little more dependency on others.   You'll be glad you did. ;)

What I've been up to...

For the past couple of days I've been online because I've been resting in bed, and I want to show you what I've found.  You might not care, but in my feverish state, these are some of my new favorites.

By the way, I can't seem to completely get rid of my fever and my chest is still tight which makes breathing difficult.  BUT--

I slept til almost noon today!! :) Hallelujah!! I needed rest like you wouldn't believe.  I don't think I've slept that late since I was a teenager.

So what I have done with all this rest??

I played Guess Who with Caroline...

And I dyed my hair.

Yep.  Never done it before.  But I think it's best to try something like this when you've got a fever and are on prescription drugs.

In my recent online perusing I ran across THIS blog.  From what I can tell, this girl has been a hair model, stand-up comedian, and is now a beauty blogger.  ?? Jack-of-all-trades, I suppose.

What I love about her blog is that she wrote it just for me.

Ok.  Maybe not.  But she has a lot of tips for strawberry blondes. 

She really seems to understand the ginger's struggle with make-up and hair dye.  She acknowledges that we need help picking out the right shades of blushes and lipsticks because the red in our hair tends to throw off certain shades of makeup in ways that blondes and brunettes can't understand.

Preach it, Molly.  Oh! The burden of having shades of red in my hair!!  Life. Is. SO.  HARD!  ;)

She has a couple of posts about makeup for red heads... one drugstore edition and one high-end.

Per her recommendation, I went to CVS (also while on medication) and bought a shade of lipstick by L'Oreal called "Jennifer's Nude" and LOVE it.  I'm confident I'll love it even when I'm not high on Tamiflu and Motrin. 

And because I loved the lipstick, I decided this girl must know what she's talking about.

Sooo, I watched her YouTube video and read (and re-read and re-read again) her post about dying strawberry blonde hair at home.

It's a logical jump, right?  I like the lipstick you suggest so let me dye my hair how you suggest... even though I've never colored my own hair in my life.

Here are the results:

Photo cred:  Caroline

Sometimes I have to love on my dog, even if it means sitting on the kitchen floor.  She's so sweet, and I love her!  You'd do it too if she were your dog. :)

And am I wearing the same shirt as I was when I did my graduation-cap-selfie?  Yes, I am. :/

Back to the hair-- granted it's a blurry pic, and it's hard to judge because you're not seeing it in person, but let me tell you...

It's not bad!!! Not bad at all!! In fact, I'm happier with it than I have been when I've had it done professionally.

I spend roughly $125 at Elizabeth Arden to get my hair colored and usually end up with my scalp stained.  But I do it because it feels luxurious and I like to have a glass of wine there.

Well, honey-- I can pour myself a drink here and save myself 90% because this cost me $15.

Words can't describe how excited I am that this worked.  At-home hair can be scary.  At-home red hair can be disastrous.  Thank goodness for the prescription courage... because I am not disappointed with the risk I took.

..................


Other online things that you've likely been doing for a while, but I just started while I've been sick...

Getting paid to shop online.

I'm not at all sure why this works. 

I'm shopping just as I normally would, but if I go through the ebates website to get to the retailer's website (like Kohls or The Gap, for example) then I get cash back on my purchases. 

They just mail me a check.

I'm sure they're selling my information right and left to all kinds of people and that's how they make money, but at this point, I don't care. 

After some last minute Christmas shopping, I've got a $50 check heading my way.


....................

My last favorite thing is my Walmart App.

I'm just that much of a redneck, I guess.

The Walmart App has a "Savings Catcher" button on it.  And if you scan your receipt within seven days of purchase, they will price match all of the items you purchased.  If they can find anything for a cheaper price somewhere else, they will give you the money back in the form of a Walmart gift card.

Ok, yes, I'm trusting that they truly are price matching and scouring competitors' ads.

And, yes, the money comes back on a Walmart gift card so the money has to be spent in their store.

And, fine, after scanning my first receipt, they were only able to find 78 cents that they could save me had I purchased my groceries elsewhere. 

And, ok, OK, I'm sure when you scan your receipt, they're also collecting ALL KINDS of personal information about you and then selling it.

BUT STILL.... it's found money.  Think of all the things I can do with roughly 3 quarters!!

And I like the theory that I don't have to collect all the coupons myself.  The app will do it for me.

...............

So that's what I've been up to...

I'm about to cook dinner.  Apparently the fam's attitude is "We've already been exposed to your germs; you might as well prepare our food.  So hurry up, I'm hungry!"  But before I go, one last thing...

The BEST cough suppressant in the world is this nastiness...

Buckley's is liquid VapoRub.  If you've ever wanted to swallow liquefied mentholatum, here's your chance!

(I can only find it on Amazon.  They used to sell it at regular drug stores, but I haven't been able to find it in a long time.)

You will wish your taste buds didn't exist.  You will do that "wet dog" head shake thing that everyone does when they taste something N.A.S.T.Y.

But then.... then, my friends... you will put yourself to bed and sleep until noon.  Because you didn't wake yourself up with that annoying cough.

That's my secret to last night's sleep. 

Well, that and Ambien.

But don't let my use of a prescription sleep aid take away from my review of this Buckley's crap.  It's HORRIBLE but works SO well!!

Office celebration

My staff was so sweet to celebrate my graduation. When I walked into work Tuesday, there were decorations and gifts.

The teachers had collected money to get me a spa gift card.

Cindy, who works in the office with me, bought me super cute Kate Spade earrings.

They ordered Taco Cabana for lunch.

They had also written words of encouragement and congratulations.

All my favorites.  There was so much thought put into everything.  I cried... Which I tend to do when people are really thoughtful and kind to me.

(I also cried when Sarah brought me tea and Jason made me dinner when I've been so sick this week.

I'm a sap when people are overly nice.)

Yay for sweet friends!